May is a great time for me to reflect on motherhood. I got to spend my first mother’s day with my mom anxiously awaiting the arrival of my daughter. Every year her bday is right after mother’s day.
Being a mama is exhausting, rewarding and overwhelming it’s good days. While I love my family I didn’t expect the feelings to be so all consuming. It feels like just when you get the hang of one stage it changes and you go back to square one. I guess it is great for my problem solving brain but dang it, mama needs a vacation on the beach. But I would probably forget sunscreen and get a major sunburn and ruin my good time because adulting is so!
Back to motherhood. I am in my 6th year of this gig and I think I may be finally getting a grip on my life. I have discovered a confidence that I did not have last year. I am willing to take risks and fail more than ever before, I am able to ask for some help. I tried to do it all like I know a lot of us do. I failed miserably at that. I am not able to do everything and that is okay and good. It takes a village to raise a family, it takes a leader to be able to rest and reflect, doing everything is good for no one if you end up feeling grumpy and worn thin. Self care is good for your family, caring for your body is good for your family, being a happy person is good for your family. It is not selfish to take a step back. I am lucky to be surrounded by so many capable people who really care for me and my family.
I am a new home owner and I feel like it is going to be very similar to being a mom, or a wife or a dog mom. This beast never sleeps and here in Portland we will constantly be fighting water intrusion and I guess vermin, right now it’s squirrels in our gutters. But our hearts burst for this stability and the opportunity to provide a clean, warm/cool home and future for our daughter. Proud is not the right word, it is more relief that the work pays off. All of the sleepless nights awaiting offers to be accepted and the inspections that were canceled because the house was garbage and not worth the time. This was not easy and it is not easy. Scrubbing on my hands and knees and endless research to find how to do the next homeowner thing. It is hard.
Life is hard and the best way to get through and thrive is to laugh. That is my motto, when we keep a light heart everything will seem a bit easier. We can do hard things and do them well. This is our mama magic.